Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Hey Diggy Dogs!

Hayola there, noobs and nubiles.

Since about Easter, I've been getting a bunch of shitty headaches and felt relatively lacking in energy and kind of just like I was a big giant poop sitting on the bottom of a public swimming pool. My enthusiasm and motivation levels have been somewhat low, but I think I am finally starting to morph back into my non-zombie self and hopefully there will be a resulting increase in motivation and maybe less procrastinating. Mabeys, just maybles.

During that time though, I got some acoustic foam and a pop filter in the mail from my buddy old pal, ebay, and one of the shelves in my cupboard got knocked out to make room for a little mic booth thingy. Here are some pixie roos...

Dodgy recording booth taking refuge in Closetland.

I think the time has finally come for me to actually try to learn 3D animation. Not a 'mess around with modelling once or twice, achieve nothing and then leave it untouched for 6 months' try, but a proper try. It's pretty high up on my main goals, but it might not progress much for a few weeks. I have been pretty stressed out lately, most likely the cause of my headaches and shitness, but I'm not entirely sure what about. I think it's probably just from being so unorganised lately. I try to remember all the stuff I should be doing and always think that I'm forgetting important stuff or missing deadlines or something. I'm going to have a to-do list now so that I know what has to be done and when. Hopefully then I can just feel at peace, you know bro? Chill out some.

Anyway, I'm a total 3D noob at the moment. I can do like real basic modelling, some not so great but still acceptable lighting, and I have made a single motion clip. A motion clip that doesn't loop very smoothly. So you know. Seasoned pro here. Whatever, it will happen. I basically have everything I need to learn it, I'm just lazy and really bad at time management. M dot Strange, being the nice helpful dude that he is, gave me a couple of models to play around with. I decided they could be model models so I threw up a backdrop and some lights and made them pose for a photo. HURR HURR HURR//

Srsly though, M. Thanks for helping out and being awesome.

Tuesday, 9 April 2013


It's really fucked up when religions tell people that they're weak and useless. You don't need a God to tell you if you're capable of doing something. Just do it. Be your own damn God.

Sometimes I lurk religious websites and facebook pages and stuff. I find humour in some of the shit they say and it really blows my mind how crazy some of the people are. I don't have a problem with people believing in God or whatever. You can believe in whatever you want. What I do have a problem with is how utterly dependent some of these people are. They devote their entire lives trying to please this higher power so that they can feel all righteous and mighty and have a good afterlife and all that, but most of them just seem totally depressed all the time. All they talk about is how God is watching them and has a plan for them and how no matter what fucked up bullshit happens to them, they know God has some twist ending planned out where everything will be perfect.

There's a lot of people in the world, you know. Are you sure God has EVERY single persons life planned out? What if he forgot to finish yours because he got distracted by this awesome idea for someone elses? Don't you think he'd get sick of writing happy endings all the time? Shit gets dull if you just stick to the same routine day in and day out. If you don't try new things and test your limits, your mind dies. When was the last time anyone even talked to God? I'm sure he has seen a lot of evil shit in his time. He could easily be some super corrupt douchebag by now. Why spend your entire life relying on someone else? Someone you can't be sure even exists or cares? Just do what you want to do and live your life for yourself. There are plenty of other people in the world bending the knee and spending their lives as God's servants and he's all like "Worship me and ONLY me! Do exactly as I say for the rest of your life or I'll send you to hell!" He makes out like he's this big tough guy but he's just a jealous, needy little bitch.

They say "WE ARE WEAK... HE IS STRONG" but I think they've got it backwards. HE IS WEAK and WE ARE STRONG!

Saturday, 6 April 2013

Mic and a Gig

I recently bought myself one of these beautiful young ladies

Blue Snowball

I decided it was time to invest in a decent mic, since the one on my headset has stopped working and my voice recorder has constant background noise that I can't fix because it's coming from the recorder itself. This one works pretty sexy like. Nice clean sound, 3 different settings and I can scream as loud as I want and not have to worry about it distorting. I'm just hoping that my acoustic foam gets here pretty soon so that I can block out the background hum of my computer. In the meantime I'll just have to improvise. Cover myself in blankets or get an extension usb so I can hide in the closet or whatever.

Speaking of potato sorcery...
The day after finally opening my mic, Tim The Scarecrow posted a journal on Deviant Art saying that he needed a female to volunteer for the voice of one of the characters in his movie 'Welcome to Normality', otherwise he would have to do it himself. So I was all like 'Yo, dawg! I'm a lady that's never done voice acting and I just got this new mic that I haven't even tested yet! I'm your man!' and he was like 'Okay! You're hired!' and then we had a huge party and drank saké on the moon. It was great.
So I shall be doing the voice of Carroll Drosselmeyer in Welcome to Normality. I has the script in my soft sexy virtual hands, and guys... it's pretty crazy and awesome. I'm a bit excited.

Friday, 5 April 2013

God Fucks Bitches

Just now I was having a shower testing out my new free sample of shampoo and for some reason I kept thinking about little excerpts from the new testament and shet. I kind of want to make a little series of short film things of how I think of those stories in my head. A modern reimagining, I guess? They will most likely be in no way accurate to the bible but they are totally plausible. There's two sides to every story. I imagine these stories came from people fluffing shit up and exaggerating to avoid looking bad or whatever, and I'm just trying to tell you what really happened, but not 25,151,242,145,215,411,545,142,456,154,131 years ago.

Numero uno: There is this big beefy black guy that lives in town. He gets ALL the bitches ALL the time. Mary is a newly wed but her husband is either a total fag or super mega mad ultimate shy and won't have sex with her. She's pretty pissed about it and tries various ways to entice him but nothing works so she goes and drinks her sorrows away at the bar. She notices this big black guy that seems to have a constant supply of ladies falling off of him. She gets more and more intrigued each time she sees him and eventually she is just like I NEED TO GET LAID SO BAD RIGHT NOW and they go get fucked up on drugs and she has sex with him. Later she finds out she is preggers and freaks out, but her husband is super religious so she decides to make up this bullshit story about her still being a virgin and how it must be a magical jesus baby. Surely he wouldn't question the power of his lord. He is in mega denial and makes himself believe it and they tell everyone that it's his kid to protect both her slumming and his gayness. The kid has some issues. They aren't good parents.

Project B: There is this kid who has lived with his grandparents for most of his life. His parents were dicks and didn't want him so they parented him instead. His pop probably died when he was relatively young, like 10 or some shit, and he doesn't really have any friends at school because, let's face it, he's pretty weird. So he is super close with his grandma and they do everything together and they are like bffs, nah mean? But on his 21st he has a big party and everyone gets shitfaced. Especially grandma. She's probably like 85 or something by now. And she tries to do some crazy badass stunt, like grandmas do, and ends up axing herself and like snapping a hip or whatever happens to old people. She has like a super bad hangover the next day and can hardly move because she is so old and basically used up all her remaining lifes energy in that one crazy awesome night. She ends up in hospital for a while and the kid visits her all the time but she doesnt get any better and it becomes apparent that she's probably going to die pretty soon. The kid is stressing hardcore because she is like the only person he has left in the world apart from some shitty ass friends that only hang out with him when he is having a booze-up. One day he goes to visit her and she is all like saying goodbye and shit gets pretty emotional for them and then she's like "Hey whatshisface, remember that time when I tried to do a backflip off the roof into the punch bowl? That was pretty awesome." or something along those lines. And then she dies. Kid is all traumatized to teh maximus prime like Bella when Edwardio leaves her to cry herself to death in a forest. He tries to OD on pills or something but fails and ends up just having a pretty intense trip and he sees her and they hang out and get drunk and shit and then shes like "brb bro, I'm gonna go get some more booze" and he's like "Grandma, you're too drunk to drive" and she's like "nah it's okay, I've got some in the boot" and she goes down to get it but she never comes back and he just waits and waits for several days just sitting there wasting away and sitting in his own shit and piss and then some people come and take him away to the mental asylum. He's just in there still waiting for her to come back with more booze and constantly yelling out to everyone. "SHE'S COMING BACK GUYS! SHE'LL BE BACK! SHE JUST HAD TO GO GET SOME MORE BOOZE! SHE'LL BE BACK!" And so on and so forth forever into darkness. And thus went the legend of Grandma's third coming.

I don't know what the other one is yet. I actually only had pretty vague ideas of these when I started writing this post and then made the rest up as I went. Felt like it was pretty good when I was writing it but I don't want to go back and read it now because it's probably stoopid. If I do go back and read it and I like it though, I totally just spewed my entire ideas onto the internets anus, but it's okay because nobody reads this blog so there's nobody to take my ideas and make them reality in a much better way than I ever could. OR IS THERE?!... No. Probably not. I hope. Or if you're a big moviemaker badass who is rich and famous, I might let you give me lots of moneys and all my deserved credit and you can go and make them with your high tech gear and massive slave labour teams so that people will think you are cool. There is no possibility that anyone could ever not want to buy my scripts for big bucks. MY WRITING SKILLS ARE SUPREME, OMNIPOTENT AND TOTALLY RIGHTEOUS! MY BLOOD IS MOTIVATED BY NINJA SPIRIT!

Thursday, 4 April 2013

Mega Upd8s

Sup y'all.

As you can probably see, it has been quite a while since I used this here blogsite, and in that time I have been doing some stuff. Not a lot of stuff considering the time period, but stuff nonetheless. BEHOLD!

At the beginning of this year I finally started doing the webcomic that I had been wanting to do for many moons. I've never done anything like this before so I don't really have any idea what I'm doing but hey, fuck it. Only one way to learn, right? Plus I would have just sat on it forever planning everything out and never actually accomplishing anything if I hadn't just made myself upload the first strip. Now I've started and I have to keep doing it. It's super fun but sometimes my self diagnosed ADD hits pretty hard. It only updates like once a week at the moment, usually Sunday or Monday here in Australia Land. I'd love to update more often but I have to work a real job and I enjoy having a decent amount of 'chill out and do whatever the fuck I want' time for movies and reading and surfing the webs or whatevs. Perhaps in the not so distant future I will spent more of that time doing my comic and update more often. Anyways, it's called Limbs When Convenient. The main character is Randy. He's a giant talking bandaid. Child minds are weird but he is a character that has been stuck in my brain for a lot of years and he is the reason I made a webcomic to start with.

Click this old shitty banner to go see what I've done on it so far. SPOILER: It's not lots.

I've also started making some little thingies out of polymer clay and shet. I guess they're figurines or ornaments or something. I don't know, I'm bad at words. I made this ring and this lighter case just experimenting.

This seamonster foetus lady was for the reddit horror exchange..

And this makeup'd Jake was for the reddit Adventure Time exchange..

I also drew this poster to go with the Jake.

I probably did other stuff too, but I cannae think on it right now.
Later, gator.